I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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