I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
