Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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