sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
