How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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