He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Can you bring me the toilet please
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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