blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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