I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
