he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
