Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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