turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
