the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
