We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
