She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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