hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
