whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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