Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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