Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
