Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
