brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
