I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My vagina just clenched in fear
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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