I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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