But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
