I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
