haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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