with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
