I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
