New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize