We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
