Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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