well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
