There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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