Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
