someone threw a dead crab at me
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
