By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
