pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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