I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I wish i was in the wii world.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize