guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
