so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
smell my finger.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
