uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Soap is not a condiment
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize