a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
thus making me awesome and them whores
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Also, beer. Big fan.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
