I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
