about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
