If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize