My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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