and you said cock pushups were impossible
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize