I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
