Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
