So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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