And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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