My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
