My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
