Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
