Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
