Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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