Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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