If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
