I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
