Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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