Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
