my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
