she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
